There are always absences and I always seem to return.
I almost always feel horrible that I allowed myself to be distracted, that I allowed "not today" to become weeks or months, sometimes a year or more.
I usually always manage to make myself feel bad about it. But it always brings forth another chance. I always get another opportunity to look at myself and remember how easy it is to tear myself down, but that buildup takes much more effort and ultimately brings greater results. I feel bad each time I slip away, but I eventually become reconnected with things I love and the reasons why.
Even when I'm not writing, I'm still writing. Countless words, phrases, and ideas have been built in my head, then wear away like sand castles as the tide rolls in. That doesn't make the sand castles any less fun or cool. It doesn't negate the effort put into them. It's just a reminder that nothing is permanent.
I'm starting again. I'm restarting again. Fall down ten times, get up eleven. It's not a matter of whether I can or cannot do this, because I know I can. It's just better that I just do, because it is what I do.
And the day I happen to be restarting writing, a potential writing opportunity pops into my lap. Whether I get it or not remains to be seen, but not getting it will not mean I'll be discouraged from writing. I just won't promise those memoirs of touring the world as a clown just quite yet.
I almost always feel horrible that I allowed myself to be distracted, that I allowed "not today" to become weeks or months, sometimes a year or more.
I usually always manage to make myself feel bad about it. But it always brings forth another chance. I always get another opportunity to look at myself and remember how easy it is to tear myself down, but that buildup takes much more effort and ultimately brings greater results. I feel bad each time I slip away, but I eventually become reconnected with things I love and the reasons why.
Even when I'm not writing, I'm still writing. Countless words, phrases, and ideas have been built in my head, then wear away like sand castles as the tide rolls in. That doesn't make the sand castles any less fun or cool. It doesn't negate the effort put into them. It's just a reminder that nothing is permanent.
I'm starting again. I'm restarting again. Fall down ten times, get up eleven. It's not a matter of whether I can or cannot do this, because I know I can. It's just better that I just do, because it is what I do.
And the day I happen to be restarting writing, a potential writing opportunity pops into my lap. Whether I get it or not remains to be seen, but not getting it will not mean I'll be discouraged from writing. I just won't promise those memoirs of touring the world as a clown just quite yet.
