Useful Tools

WARNING: Those offended by coarse language should proceed with caution or simply not read any further. It's not a mine field of curses, but I'm aware that some people find it difficult to take even one utterance of the lesser curse words and so I offer this disclaimer. You have been warned. You're welcome.

Whenever one has an encounter with an asshole, one of the possible judgements of the situation and the person might be "What a tool!". With my recent and ongoing thinking about words, meanings, and treatment of other people and of myself, it struck me that this is actually an excellent assessment.

Tools are used to accomplish things, whether it be breaking things down into easier-to-manage components or taking such components and making something out of them. These assholes and encounters with them are tools that we can use in our forward march through life. Encounters with assholes could serve any number of purposes:

• It could serve as an example of how we do not wish to be.
• It could remind us – partially or completely – of habits and tendencies we used to exhibit, giving us an idea of how far we've grown and evolved as a person.
• Our feelings after an asshole encounter can remind us of how our words could possibly affect other people if our roles were switched – and make no mistake: roles always eventually switch.
• Any number of things that hasn't occurred to me yet

So regardless of if your encounter is with an asshole, bitch, bastard, bully, dickwad, fuckwad, dickweed, fucknugget, fuckbucket, fuckhead, cockmaster, waste-of-space, assmaster, douchebag, assrag, jerk, or a run-of-the-mill, all-purpose inconsiderate fuck, try to recognize that this person is just simply a tool. The issue afterwards is if that tool is going to be influential in building up or tearing down a changed you. That choice – that process – is up to each of us.

Compassion and Brahmacharya

Being back in Japan for a prolonged period of time means a few things:

• I have to change my eating habits so my weight doesn't drop
• Living is more expensive
• I get to eat different foods and drink different drinks
• I rely heavily on the internet to keep in touch with friends and family
• Yoga challenges

The last time I was here, my personal practice really blossomed, but something else happened: my personal practice encompassed a lot of internal work. I did a lot more work nowhere near a mat, more work in my head, and incremental work at the drop of a hat and sometimes throughout a whole day, only to continue the next. It's tiring at times.

In literature and in my classes (as an teacher trainee and as a student) the niyama of Brahmacharya was occasionally addressed. Usually, it's painted in the context of conserving and not being reckless with sexual energy. However, I've gradually come to extend it to personal energy in general, and some of my instructors have presented it as such as well. Since the standard definition poses me little problem when I'm on tour, I've had plenty of opportunity to explore the broader view. For me, the practice of Brahmacharya is tied directly to a practice of compassion, chiefly self-directed compassion.

I have been finding it increasingly necessary to be attentive to my energy needs and my energy output. We recently finished two months of shows in Sapporo. Normally, my work week is six days of shows, with one day off, totaling 14 shows. This was the show's first time in Sapporo in 89 years and although the run started a little slowly, ticket sales took off after the third week. Shows were being added weekly; sometimes two-show days became three-show days, but more often than not, a three-show day became a four-show day.

I had just started to work out again, with three times a week being my normal regimen. Once extra shows were being added, I started tapering off and eventually stopping. I needed to exercise to be at my best and now I wasn't doing enough; I was getting skinny again, losing muscle definition and tone. I was being lazy about a commitment I had made to improve and maintain my body. I wasn't even practicing yoga. What kind of lazy, useless excuse was I becoming?

As it turned out, I was saving my physical energy for shows, but I had started transferring some of it to emotional energy. That emotional energy was being expended as frustration and I was taking it out on myself. That was neither conserving energy nor channeling it effectively. When it comes to emotional energy, I'm better than I used to be, but am not yet where I would like to be. I have much to work on yet and I could definitely work more on being more compassionate with myself.

Most of all, I have to learn to be okay with the fact that I'm not there yet and that it's a journey rather than a destination. In this case, a journey within a journey.

Sometimes I Like to Pose

Asahidake Virabhadrasana III, originally uploaded by cookiepants1973.

Every once in a while, when I'm out and about in the world, I'll take a picture or two in a yoga pose I like or can do in that moment with little fuss. The latest is a picture of warrior III when I was at the top of Mt. Asahidake during my trip to Daisetsuzan National Park in Hokkaido, Japan.

A Different Studio, a Different Mat

After six weeks of having returned to Kinoshita Circus, I finally restarted my exercise regimen. It's been a habit to do some asana after the rope jumping and body weight exercises to round out the rough edges and get some active stretching in. (For the record, my main poison is yang yoga sequences and a few other poses.) I was in the state of mind to take advantage of the nice weather, so I did my second set of rope jumping outside and then proceeded to the yang sequences.

The sun was setting. The breeze was blowing. In between yang sequences I briefly bobbed my head to the Fu-Schnickens track that was on my playlist. Through the music, I could hear the sound of the lions roaring in their regular early evening chorus.

As far as studios and mats go, that was a really cool moment. I'm thankful I could have my wits about me enough to take it in and appreciate it. What an experience!

Return to the Petri Dish

Yes, it has been six months since I last wrote. I've grown to be okay with this. The last nine months saw me dealing with a few emotional life events as well as diving into a yoga teacher training program. Now I am finished and certified, but am not currently at home in the Twin Cities. I've returned to Japan to perform on a circus again.

At first I thought, "Great work, Greg: you put this money and time in to undergo teacher training and then you go off to Japan for a year – maybe more – where you won't likely be doing any teaching or subbing of any sort. Smooth." Yes, but there is a big but:

The last time I was in Japan on the circus, I was here for a year. I brought my yoga mat with me, some yoga DVDs, and I'd receive a package with my magazines every couple of months. I never really done a whole lot of self-guided practice and while here, my practice ebbed and flowed. I didn't think I was being very consistent with my practice and I was harshly critical of myself. Once I started shutting the critic up and reading and reflecting on what I'd learned over the years, I realized that I was practicing a little each day, but it wasn't all physical.

I was practicing the reflective and thoughtful aspects of yoga as well. As I did the mental yoga, I was also getting even better at listening to my body when doing the physical yoga. It became clear to me that in this different environment, I was experiencing the deepening of my practice.

And now I'm back. The same sort of reflection and deepening can happen again, but the teaching adds a new dimension to it. The idea of teaching anyone yoga right now is still a daunting one, but I have a huge opportunity for growth: an associate would like me to teach her yoga. She has admitted to having some opinions and personality traits that would make her a challenging student, but to her credit, in asking me to teach her she is rethinking prior experiences and notions. The willingness to do that is a pretty valuable thing for anyone to have.

So here I am again, not in my element, but not necessarily out of it, either. I just need to put in the time.

All About My Pants

I was recently asked by one of my yoga study classmates where I found my yoga pants because her son was looking for a pair for school.

First of all: a teenage boy seeking yoga pants for school? Yoga in school? Cool. Second, I shall share the secret here and now for all to see:

I bought my yoga pants at Target.

I do not dig the idea of paying stupid amounts of money for fitness clothes. I have a wealth of cotton t-shirts that work just fine. I absolutely REFUSE to pay the money that certain companies charge for their specialty yoga clothing. Target – as do other department stores, I'm sure – carries pajama pants that aren't too baggy and are made of comfortable cotton. If there's a button on the crotch flap, I remove the button. Then I sew the crotch flap shut with a simple zig-zag stitch and that's it: comfortable yoga pants for far less than anything else target marketed to yoga students/teachers.

Maybe I'll eventually learn to make my own.