Developments and Growth

Well, I've been back into regular practice for almost a month now and it's a mixed bag for me. One the down side, I've spent most of the last year being irregular if anything at all about my yoga practice. As such, I feel like I've been a shameful slacker and I'm not as far as I could have been had I not slid out of the practice habit. On the up side, I'm learning how accurate my assessments of trouble spots has been, so I'm learning that I can trust that sense I'm developing. Furthermore, I'm noticing the gradual process of the reversal of the tightening and restriction that has developed over this time. I'm sensing the physical ease that's growing as I practice again every day. I'm able to use this opportunity to strengthen my patience and help my tolerance grow into acceptance and to log this experience to use in my intended future in instruction.

I'm also revisiting my own body issues. I'm not as muscular in some ways as I'd like to be, but it's a small distance to travel to reach that goal. However, I must consider how that would affect my yoga. Also, I'm not please with the limits of my lower body flexibility. I'm beginning to think that it's as much the anatomy of my skeleton as it is muscular inflexibility. That is harder to take. If as much of it is my bone structure as I think may be the case, then that is something that I cannot change and it is very possible that I will not be able to perform certain poses to the extent of expression that I would like to. That disappointment and the accompanying feeling of failure and of that making me less of a practitioner is yet another thing to combat.

On the up side, it's nice in some twisted way to have body issues of my own. I was worried that as an instructor, some students would look at me, what things I can do, and my body type and feel inadequate or frustrated. I don't want to make people feel that way, so I believe that having my own stories about my own issues and inadequacies will be something of great value that I can offer to people.